After a conversation bit Saturday (and then another conversation later Saturday) I got to pondering that my default manifestation of deep-seated social trauma is always at least partly some flavor of "I am faking all this (and if anyone notices they will hurt me)" and now I'm wondering if at least some of that 'I am faking this' is rooted in dysphoria issues as much as it is neurodivergence because if I'm historically incapable of feeling authentic as myself I can't expect anyone else to see me as real either.

Last night's sleep was Bad in complex ways (I woke up at 6, tried to get back to sleep and did not until after 7, and then had to be up at 8:30 for church service). But that meant I woke up in the middle of a dream and thus remember some bits of it.

( Just a few remembered snippets, mostly because I remember them from telling KJ this morning. )